How can she slap?

Life sucks, then you die.

Here I am, superfuckingmegaovertheFUCKINGTOP excited about going to Karachi. Chilling in the backseat, with my friends both on the right AND the left okay?

One second I'm dreaming of blogger meet ups, awesome Prom parties, sleepovers with my bestestestest friends, experiencing this and other sex-bomb shit and the next?
The ticket is returned [with a 6k fine] and I'm sharpening up that beautiful metaphorical knife to slit his fucking throat.

So possibly you're like, WTF, whos 'He' and why the cussing?

Well. I'm done with tiptoeing around my own blog okay?
THAT'S HOW I SPEAK AND EVERYONE OFFENDED CAN [fucking] DEAL WITH IT AND/OR LEAVE.
But you know.
Don't leave.
Stay.
Its just a word.

[You can go HERE for a lovely post summarizing my POV {which means 'point of view'}on this.]

Anyway. Back to the situation.

A little back-story first, if you will:

My A levels went shit. I'm retaking everything in November. {No, I'm not a big stupid loser, I used to be V INTELLIGENT ONCE (comparatively) since I had 6 As, 4 Bs in my O levels.}

Back-story over.

SO ANYWAY.
'He' is the godforsaken shitty [well, but not really since his he has mad teaching skillz] teacher who is supposed to tutor me in Chem and Physics for November.
He is also a madman with a sharp, pointy and VVVV thorny stick up his ass.
I mean okay, dude, I'm going to Karachi okay? If you want me to stay here and study, fine.
Good for you.
Its nice to have opinions- BUT WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF CORNERING, AND FUCKING BLACKMAILING ME?

The ultimatum, which he delivered in front of my mom and I?

'Either she goes to Karachi and finds a new teacher, or she stays here and studies with me.'

And my lovely mother?

'Either you get tutored by Sir Shahbaz and give the exams or you don't give the exams at all.'

To add to the intense shittiness of the whole thing- Sir S told my mother and I how he would be willing to handle Chem with me from July, but Physics he needed to start 'right away' or we could go to some other teacher for physics.
Well, that seemed okay to me, so I said to him, 'Okay, so I'll do chem with you, starting from July! And for Physics we'll go to another teacher!'
In my opinion I had the problem solved, right?

Wrong.

Because oops guys, HE FUCKING HAS AN EGO LARGER THAN FUCKING EVEREST.

























He went all 'offended' on me saying stuff like 'oooh how could you be so blunt, blah blah blah, too bad fo you, now I've decided , either I'll teach both subjects, or I'll teach NONE.'

Um. WTF?

You.gave.me.an.alternative.and.now.you're.getting.your.panties.in.a.bunch.cause.I.took.it??!?!?!?!?!?!!

*Face.palm Clawing.my.eyes.out.*

Guess what else he did? He proceeded to dig his oily nose more into my business by going all fake-psychiatrist-bitch on me and asking me things/saying things like:

WHAT have you done to deserve this?
Why do you think you should be allowed to go Karachi?
You used to be such a good kid and now...
Just give me ONE reason why I should let you go?
When I was in LUMS, I never went to my farewell! And look how I turned out!

And so on, so freakin' forth.

Okay first of all Sir, YOU don't know SHIT about me. You do not get to decide what I 'deserve' and what I don't. You have no idea about who I am, what I 'used to be' and [insert random bs here].

Secondly? Its not even fucking ABOUT the farewell.

I was born in Lahore. My whole family, [excluding grandmother/father & uncle from my Dad's side, and obv my parents and siblings] lives in Lahore. I love Lahore.

But Karachi? I was raised there. I have/had virtually no family there. All I had were my friends.
Karachi has become a huge part of me.
Some people say friends don't matter, that they wont always be there, and other stuff.
But my friends were like my family.


This past year?
Its been stressful and depressing.
Final A level year, where everyone is counting on you to make them proud-
Alone in a new school with creeps and fluff heads who don't understand the phrase 'reading for fun' and etc-
Struggling and failing at things you know you can do, but you've become so pathetic that you find yourself stumbling over them despite it all-
And etc.

All I wanted, for fifteen days, was to get a little chunk of my old life back.
I just wanted fifteen days.
It didn't matter if it would have been a temporary thing.
I just wanted to forget and experience that familiar joy of gossiping and laughing with the girls I've grown up with. With the girls and friends I've spent so many important moments of my life with.

I wanted to be carefree and not have to worry about the pregnant elephant in the room [my bad grades and uncertain future plans].
I wanted to, after a whole year, go out and have fun with friends, in a place where people knew who I was and liked me genuinely and were happy that I came, instead of being all 'whatever' about it.
For fifteen days, I wanted to forget the bs, and live in the moment.
Visit the beach with my friends, have sleepover with my girls, get ready with all of them, dress up and go out and have FUN, you know?
All of that, is something I can depend on.
Nothing is vague when there are vacations and you're in the same city as your friends.
Specially if its the city all of you have grown up in.
This 15 day trip would have been a solid wall in my not-so-solid life. Something filled with familiarity and excitement and love and possibility and just, good, old fashioned fun with the people you love.

I have been looking forward for this comfort, getaway trip for more than a year.

Thanks to Sir S, and my parents [but mostly/specially Sir S], I am not getting it.

I even cut it down to a week, then, FOUR days! I begged and fought and rebelled and did whatever and you know what?
It still did me no good.

I am not allowed to go :).

I hate Sir S.
After I refused to laugh at his jokes the first day back in class [this Monday] he had the audacity to say the following: 'But CLG, I thought we were friends!'

Um.
Fucking seriously?
Friends?

And, you know, the three days that I've gone to him to study, hes always cracked lame ass jokes, trying to 'friendship' and make me laugh.

I hate him.
I fucking hate him.

A WEEK GUYS. WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
PLUS, HOW.CAN.HE.FUCKING.BLACKMAIL.ME.LIKE.THAT?!!?!?
How can he just corner me in and act like he owns my life?

Okay, maybe to you it may seem like much ado about nothing, or a mountain-out-of-a-molehill situation.
But honestly? I dont care.
I love you if you understand and if you're read ALLLLL of that hate/hurt above. If you dont... well. I still love you for READING it all.

But the point is, I feel like that guy, you know the one?

Standing there, saying 'HOW CAN SHE SLAP!?'

:C


x

Chicklitgirl.