On Life.

Its like this.

You find a beautiful butterfly. the prettiest you have ever seen, but you have to set it free- because it needs to survive, and you love it too much.

Or when you have a dog, man's (and your) best friend.
Except it keeps getting sick.
No matter how many times the vet fixes him up.
And finally, you have to give him away because the sickness is hurting you too.
And it pains to see the dog's deep and trusting eyes, and hear its whimper every night.
And to see it lose its wag again, and again, and once again.

Or when you're standing at the edge of a cliff.
To jump or to turn back and run for your life?
The bottom of the cliff- a coin toss. Heaven or hell, but behind you?
A limbo- a  bitter taste in your mouth.

Or when you fall in love with a litter of kittens. All feisty creatures, with thick and luscious white fur, and sweet pink paws. And you have to leave them, because your sister is allergic.

Or, you could just listen, to this.



xx

CLG

Goli Maroon Tujhay, Dakku Daddy.

I think I might just be going crazy.

Maybe its the lack of sleep or the craziness of the A level world but I've started hearing things.

Like, literal, honest to god, creepy song-voices.

And not just any creepy song-voices... but the really cheesy and extremely tacky (albeit a little funny) voices of Dakku Daddy.

Yes. I have that song in my cell phone.
DON'T JUDGE ME.
Its supposed to be my alarm tone so that I wake up every morning on time, and am fully awake thanks to its horrible melody+lyrics.
But my hand, alas, has bonded with the snooze button.


So anyway- I'm sitting in Physics class, trying to stay awake as the professor drones on and on about the torque of a couple and the equilibrium of forces {wtf?!- is right.} -when I hear it.

And it jerks me wide awake.
I scrambled for my phone to switch the horror off, when I realize... my phone is.. silent.

So I'm like, whateveeez. I made a mistake. No biggy.
And restart the torturous process of digging my nails into my arm to stay awake when once again, after a minute or two- the opening lyrics and cheesy female voice jolt me out of my jaded state.
'KON HAI BETIIIIII'
'ISHQ HAI DADDYYYY'
And my phone is STILL SILENT.

I stared at the blank screen for a few seconds, wondering if there was something in my qeema sandwich that I'd had just before class, but then when the music did not start again for a good minute or so, I gave up and went back to perfecting the AYWA look [asleep, yet wide awake] which consists of staring at the professor/white board and nodding ever so slightly when he looks at you and speaks, while actually dreaming about staring in your own Glee club and scoring all A*s simultaneously.


Dakku Daddy and I go way back.
Last year, the stupid godforsaken alarm rang almost WHENEVER I was in literature class, which needless to say, was filled with all the cool types- and therefore the snickers and smirks directed at me, along with the outright laughs were mortifying.
And then, not once, not twice- BUT THRICE it rang in the goddamn LIBRARY.

Heres how it went all 3 of the times:

The Gradual Realization [LOL!! HER PHONE JUST RANG IN THE LIBRARY!] followed by the Incredulous Look [wtf... is that her RINGTONE?!!!] and then finally the Sheer Amusement [ROTFLMFAO!!!!].
Oh and did I forget the Fazool Factor? [.... what a loser man*scoots away from paindoo daddy girl*]

So I'm sure you can imagine how I did NOT want a reenactment of that scene.
And how I was completely freaked out and a total paranoid wreck, flinching every time my phone buzzed, letting me know the battery was down.


The sad part was, I kept hearing little snips of the music every few seconds [TUM DAKKU HO KE DADDY!?] - and on the way home, I HEARD THE STUPID MUSIC PLAYING IN THE CAR AS WELL.
[KYUN KIYA MERAY PYAR KO KAIDEEE
GOLEE MAROON TUJHAY DAKKU DADDY]
Except it was blurred around the edges,and very faint... BUT IT WAS REAL.



Well.
I hope it was.
Or else... I might just be going psycho.

One things for sure though.
I'm changing that alarm tone tonight.



x
CLG

Ps. this is a true story.

Love and Lillies

I finished Rules of Attraction by Simone Elkeles yesterday. I LOVE IT.




I'm currently reading Instaiable by Meg Cabot.
I love Meg Cabot.

I was halfway through Ash, by Malinda Lo, when I had to google it.
It was SUPPOSED to be a fairy tale retelling. I LOVE fairytale retellings! The best one ever is Beastly by Alex Flinn, which is an AWESOME retelling of Beauty and the Beast.
This was supposed to be about Cinderella.
But oops- IT TURNED OUT TO BE A RETELLING OF FUCKING LESBIAN CINDERELLA.

What the FUCK.

I have never been so disappointed. 

I mean, I'm not hating on lesbians here.. but WHERE WAS THE PROMISED PRINCE CHARMING?
The lovely love story? 
This is not fair.
Those book reviewers should have given me a heads up man. Not cool.

I think I like someone. I'm not sure yet.
Tee hee.
>>Insert very girl giggle here<<

 xx

CLG

Gigantic Rant About Stupid Shit

The Almost-Slumber Party was yesterday, and to say it was big hit, would not be an exaggeration.

When the girls were leaving, I was really happy that everything had gone so well and how they had enjoyed so much.
Did I enjoy? Not really- I mean, it was nice- in a way, but I felt like the mother hen.
I was in charge of the whole music/movie/microphone. All the teachers sat on their fat asses and looked on, while I handled the whole thing.
Frankly, I dont think any one else could have done the job. They're too stupid for that.

The day before the party, I asked an 18 year old girl to give me suggestions as to what type of music they would like to listen to.
 This is the list she promptly texted me:

1.* Starstruckk
2.* Bonanza-belly dancer_ akon
3.The best damn thing_avril
4.* barbie girl_aqua
5.* Good girls gone bad_cobra starship
6.* Stereo love_edward maya
7.* Ring my bells_enrique
8.** Tick tock_kesha
9.**kiss where the sun dont shine
10.***Me and you

this was just the first ten ENGLISH songs... the list also includes popular songs like Vanilla Twilight, Girlfriend, 'Waka Waka', Baby-by Beiber.. the super hit- Hips dont lie.. Taylor Swift.. and other lovely tween tunes.

For dancing to.


There was a little note too:
 Yar jin pe stars hain wo ZAROOR lana!!

I kid you not.


At the party, I didnt seem to have enough dance tracks- they kept coming to me and at least a dozen of them were put off when I told them no, I didnt have any punjabi remixes.

They had to settle for Lover Mera Hit Hit.

Poor girls.

At one point, while we were all being served dinner, Aja Nachle started playing (the iPod was on shuffle-mode).
As soon as the girls realized which song it was- this is what I could make out  from the joyful screams that ensued :
Girl1- AB GANA START HUA HAI!!!!!!!!11
Girl2- ASLI GANA TO AB SHURU HUA HAI!!!!!!!!1
Girl3- OMG YEH FIT GANA HAI BARA!!!
Girl4- PARTY TO AB START HUEE HAI!!!!!!!111


My aunt and I exchanged looks of the what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-them variety, but that wasn't anything new since we generally kept exchanging such looks throughout the evening.

Especially when they 'voted' that they didnt want to watch a movie (Knight and Day) cause from 'SHUGAL KARNA HAI, YAH MOVIE?' Shugal won.
Obviously.

What was this shugal? I hear you ask.

Shugal.
[Shoo- gal]
Definition: An Urdu word meaning 'fun'.
Actual definition: Dancing like your butt is on fire to indian songs, hooting at the start of each song, exclaiming with joy how this so is your 'best favorite song ever!!!1!1!', doing the 'snake dance', the 'couple dance' and then taking pictures where you're half smiling/pouting and showing off your zehreeli sultry look.

Over Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.

After an hour of a lot of torturous shugal and other paindoo shit, it was time for a 'Dance/Singing Competition'! Yay! It was like, the biggest shugal of all. This O level girl danced like a complete crazy, so hard, that her pants actually slipped off her butt- SEVERAL TIMES [her shirt was too long to actually show off any flesh though], but the clingy tee obviously outlined her butt crack extremely well, so brownie points for trying!


Whatever.
I dont feel like writing an more about it- but the gist is, after several other random activities- freeze tag etc. It was finally over.
A lot of them came up to me, saying goodbye, a few even hugged and thanked me for whatever I'd done that day. After they'd gone, I picked up the mic and I sang.
I was too hoarse from all that shouting and running around (freeze tag) to be up to my full potential, but I wasn't all that bad. [Random thought-I wish I could get singing lessons.]


Anyway, so later on, after I went home, so fucking tired, after being on my feet for five hours straight and shit, what I was NOT expecting from my so-called friends was this:


I checked a ''friend's'' facebook profile to see if she had upped the pictures yet and this is the facebook status that simply, made my day:

MTK-enjoyed da slumber party!!!!!special thanks 2 YAXLY,AMANDA,NOREEN,ZEPHER,SWEETOO,AFIA,AROOJ,FOXY!!!!!I LUV U AWL!!!!bohat maza karwaya tum logoun nai!!!i want have a slumber party once again!!1!1!!!!*




*Names have been changed.

This made me so mad and very sad.
I MEAN WTF OK.
I'd been the one going bonkers over this stupid party.
Trying to arrange everything- from the stupid prizes for the party games, the whole music thing, the whole movie thing etc etc.
I made sure that we did everything perfectly, no school-screwups- to make the party a blast for the kids, so that they'd love their school- instead of hate it all the time, recognize how awesome/cool/nice I was therefore leading to me being better friends with everyone and finally feeling like I belonged, instead of like an outsider and this is what they conclude from my efforts.
I'd worked hard on finding the perfect prizes, the best movies and convincing my aunt to make various allowances- Et cetera, Et cetera and Et cetera .

But you know.
YAXLY,AMANDA,NOREEN,ZEPHER,SWEETOO,AFIA,AROOJ,FOXY ne actually bhot maza karwaya hai.


Well, its their loss. 
I'm done being nice to them, and trying to be friendly with their loser-ness. 
While I was in my corner, handling the music and shit, not one of them bothered to just come up and chat- they were too involved in their own friends.
Who cares about the new girl? The one whos helped make all this possible?
Lets all have fun with YAXLY,AMANDA,NOREEN,ZEPHER,SWEETOO,AFIA,AROOJ,FOXY and other random losers, thank them and love them, shall we?
The school still sucks, and what? CLG who?

I understand them now. 
In the past month, not one of them has made an effort to get to know me one bit- yeah, they're friendly, they've invited me out whenever they 'hang' and shit, but none of them, none, not a single person talks about ANYTHING that even remotely matters. I doubt any of them even knows what words like 'sarcasm', 'feminism' and 'book' even mean.
All they talk about is either their boyfriends, or how chawal everyone else is.



Well.
I'm done.
And frankly I'm better off on my own.
None of the fucking losers even wore PAJAMAS to the Goddamn PAJAMA/slumber party!


Ugh.


In other stupid shit-

Lahore is seriously intellectually pathetic, or so it seems.
The fucking city doesn't even have an A level literature teacher, who isn't teaching in LGS!
And apparently, the LGS teachers dont offer private tutions. 
I'm still looking though.. but so far the only option is:
Drop literature- the only subject I was good at.
Lets add to that how I still dont get anything in Chemistry AND Physics, how I'm a huge blog-fail, how I wont have any nice/normal friends here ever and so folks, we have:

x

CLG.